1. – Whenever I come in, you don’t work. What’s the matter?
– And you have rubber-soled shoes – I can’t hear.

2. Convinced our eight-year-old daughter that I hate the sound of a vacuum cleaner. Now she starts vacuuming every time she gets mad at me.

3. – Why is every new toothpaste always recommended by only nine out of ten dentists? Who is this tenth, who constantly does not like everything?

4. “Great-nephews”, “Great-aunt”, “Sister-in-law”, “Godfather and Godmother”, “Daughter-in-law’s daughter-in-law” – these, and many, many more interesting names for distant relatives, you will learn if you have an apartment in Moscow or in St. Petersburg…

5.

6. – Dear, and if I went to another in exchange for a million dollars, would you agree?
– Well, if you can pay in installments, then YES, OF COURSE!

7. For a month now, I have not left the feeling that a black cat broke a mirror right in front of me with an empty bucket.

8. Think about your future today – put a thousand in the pocket of your winter coat.

9. – I don’t get enough sleep with you. When you sleep, you take up half a bed.
– So you also have half left.
– But not the same, but a quarter to your right and a quarter to your left.

10. – Sarochka, what should I give you?
– Whatever you want. The main thing is that the fur is beautifully reflected in the diamonds.